Let in the Light

Myths which are believed in tend to become true. ~George Orwell

Insight shines light on why we do what we do. If you have ever felt stuck, or that what you want is just out of reach, insight can help.

We often have no problem thinking of what we want to be different in our lives. Better relationships, more intimacy, a successful career, financial stability, peace and contentment. The struggle is making it happen.

Insight allows us to understand ourselves . When we understand what we believe about ourselves, others and our world, we are freed to change our paths.

Our beliefs are shaped by our caregivers and environment in our earliest years. These beliefs reside just below the surface yet they are powerful predictors of our behavior. Whatever we believe about ourselves becomes our truth.

The problem with this is that we often internalize beliefs that are untrue and destructive.

When we are young, we have very little frame of reference. We believe we cause both the good and the bad in our lives. When caregivers struggle to provide what we need, we assume this is because we somehow fall short.

We accept these beliefs as truth and it is through this lens that we view our potential, our relationships and our ability to have what we most desire.

Common mistaken beliefs include:

“I’m not worthy of love or acceptance unless I’m achieving, doing for others or sacrificing myself.”

“If I express my needs or desires in a relationship, I risk rejection. It’s safer to pretend I don’t have them.”

“I must always be stoic, if I express uncomfortable emotions, I am a burden to others.”

“I am responsible for keeping the feelings of the people around me upbeat. If they feel sad, angry or hurt, I have failed.”

When we gain insight into our mistaken beliefs and where they come from, we understand ourselves better. We begin to understand the circumstances that led to our perception of ourselves. We better understand how our caregivers’ struggles have influenced this perception.

When we understand these things, we can accept ourselves as human. Flawed but worthy. This is a powerful step. When we understand and accept ourselves, we become far more accepting of others. This strengthens our relationships and allows for authenticity, peace and nurturing.

Insight can come from many places. It often arises from our connection to someone else’s story. We see ourselves reflected in another’s journey or struggle and we understand ourselves a little better. This can happen when we listen to a friend or family member, when we watch movies, read books and listen to music that speaks to us.

Journaling is an excellent place to find insight. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or eloquent. Simply writing down what you’re feeling throughout the day is a great place to start.

Counseling is one of the most effective places to find insight. In fact, counseling is all about insight. It’s about figuring out what’s working, what’s not working and letting go of what’s holding you back.

What are your thoughts on insight and how it occurs? 

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