“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg”. Chinese Proverb Each of us has an inner voice that keeps us safe, sometimes too safe. This is the voice that heightens our awareness when we’re in a dangerous situation. It’s the same voice that increases our anxiety […]
Can This Relationship Be Saved?
This is the final post in the series, Toxic Relationships. Don’t miss parts one and two. Once you’ve determined you’re in a toxic relationship you can take steps to redefine it. It won’t be easy, changing the dynamic will require you to step outside your comfort zone. You will likely meet with some resistance. Becoming […]
Toxic Relationships
This is the second in a series of posts on toxic relationships. Click here for part one. Toxic relationships drain your resources. They cause you to doubt yourself, your choices and even you’re worth. Learning to identify toxic relationships is an important step toward protecting yourself from them. Is there someone in your life who. […]
On Trees and Toxic Relationships
This is the first post in a series on toxic relationships. Once, in a lush green forest, a young tree was befriended by a vine. The vine was friendly and helpful and the tree and vine soon became very close. The tree learned to rely on the vine, and before long, the vine and the […]
The Gift of Counseling
Counseling is a powerful gift. It’s something we can do for ourselves to make our lives better, more joyful, more complete. I believe everyone can benefit from counseling. Over the years, counseling has been lumped in with the medical model and its emphasis on fixing what’s broken. To me, counseling fits better within the wellness […]
Honoring Anger
I grew up in a home where anger was scary. It was always present, just beneath the surface and it could be set off any moment like a firecracker. Like a firecracker, there was collateral damage if my siblings and I were too close. I learned to retreat from anger or any emotion that […]
Couples Counseling for One
If your relationship is struggling, couples counseling can help. A relationship therapist can help build a bridge between you and your partner, resolve critical issues and facilitate better communication. But what if your partner won’t go? Can your relationship benefit from couples counseling for one? Yes. Seeing a therapist alone to work on problems you […]
When Your Mirror Is Broken
In an ideal world, when we’re born, our caregivers are emotionally whole. They care for us with attentiveness, responsiveness and nurturing. They make sacrifices for us when necessary. As we become aware of ourselves as separate from our caregivers, they reflect our image back to us, they show us who we are and who we can be. […]
The Importance of Being Unavailable
My sister and I recently met for a play-date and the converson turned to her increasing stress as she prepares for the birth of her second child, manages her clients (she’s an attorney) and attempts to be present and enjoy her family. She talked about checking her email several times a day, taking business calls […]
(Don’t Try to) Feel Better
We want to feel happy and sometimes we do. But we feel many other things, too. We feel angry, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, envious or hurt. We may try to distract ourselves with food, alcohol, facebook or sex. We don’t like to be unhappy. It’s okay, we’re built that way. When we’re uncomfortable, we seek comfort, […]
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